If you're asking whether you might be bisexual, you're in good company. Plenty of people take time to understand their attraction, and there's no deadline and no right answer you're supposed to arrive at.
First, A Word About Quizzes
Online quizzes can be fun and can get you thinking, but they can't tell you who you are. Only you can decide that. Instead of a score, use the questions below as prompts for your own reflection.
Questions To Reflect On
- Have you ever felt attracted to, or curious about, more than one gender?
- Is it romantic, sexual, emotional, or some mix? Does it feel different for different genders?
- When you imagine a future relationship, is there a gender it must be, or does it feel open?
- Do you find yourself noticing people of more than one gender in ways that feel like more than admiration?
- Is your curiosity a one-time moment, or something that keeps coming back?
- How do you feel when you let yourself consider it: excited, nervous, relieved, or something else?
There are no right or wrong answers. They're only a way of listening to yourself.
Signs People Commonly Describe
These aren't proof, and you don't need to tick any of them. People often describe:
- Attraction to more than one gender, even if it's stronger for one.
- A sense of curiosity that doesn't go away.
- Feeling that "straight" or "gay" doesn't quite fit.
- Relief or recognition when reading about other bi people's experiences.
What Doesn't Decide It
- Your experience. You can be bisexual without having dated or been with more than one gender.
- Who you're with now. Your partner's gender doesn't change your orientation.
- How others see you. Other people's assumptions don't define you.
- Having it "figured out". Many people's understanding of themselves changes over time.
What To Do Next
- Learn at your own pace. Read about what bisexual means, pansexual vs bisexual, and what bi-curious means.
- Write it down. Journaling can help you see patterns in your feelings.
- Talk to someone you trust. A friend, or an LGBTQ+-affirming counselor, can be a safe place to think out loud.
- Find community. Meeting other bisexual and questioning people can be reassuring.
- Go slowly. You don't have to act on anything, or tell anyone, until you're ready.
Coming Out Is Your Choice
You never owe anyone an announcement. Whether, when and how you tell people is up to you, and it's okay to keep it private if that's what feels safe. Protecting your privacy is a valid choice.
If you'd like to meet people who understand, Bi Desires welcomes bisexual, bi-curious, pansexual and questioning people. You decide what to share and when. Take a look at our bi-curious dating page to see how it works.