Dating a bisexual man or woman is much like dating anyone: it comes down to honesty, respect and communication. What's different is the baggage of stereotypes that bisexual people have to deal with. Leaving those behind is the best place to start.
Myths To Leave Behind
- "They'll eventually choose a side." Bisexuality isn't a stage on the way to something else. Someone who's bi stays bi, whoever they're with.
- "They can't be faithful." Fidelity depends on the individual, not on their orientation. A bisexual person is no more likely to cheat than anyone else.
- "They're half-gay, half-straight." Bisexuality is its own complete identity.
- "They're only experimenting." For many people it's a settled, lifelong part of who they are.
- "They want a third person." Some bi people are monogamous and some aren't. Don't assume. Ask.
Don't Assume. Ask And Listen.
Every bisexual person is different. Some are out to everyone, some only to a few, and some are still working it out. Some feel attraction similarly to every gender, and some feel it differently. The best approach is to be curious, ask open questions, and take their answers at face value.
Questions Worth Asking
- How do you describe your orientation, and what does it mean to you?
- Who in your life knows? Is there anyone I should be careful around?
- Is there anything you'd like me to know, or avoid saying?
- What does a good relationship look like for you?
Jealousy, Insecurity And Trust
It's normal to feel insecure sometimes, and it's worth talking through. If you catch yourself wondering whether your partner is "missing out" on something because of your gender, that's a feeling to examine, not a fact to act on. Being in a relationship with you doesn't make a bisexual person any less bisexual, and it doesn't leave anything missing. Trust is built through honest conversation, the same as in any relationship.
Being A Supportive Partner
- Respect their privacy. Never out them without permission.
- Don't treat their orientation as a fantasy or a fetish.
- Challenge stereotypes when you hear them.
- Be open about your own feelings and boundaries.
- Celebrate who they are, including with friends and family when they're ready.
If You're Bisexual And Dating
If you're the bisexual person looking for a partner, being clear about who you are saves time and avoids the usual assumptions. A community built for bi, pan and bi-curious people means you don't have to explain the basics. Visit our bisexual dating page, or our pages for meeting bisexual women and our guide to bisexual men.